A Fresh Start
“When will everyone figure out I'm a fraud?” Hopefully you’ve never uttered these words to yourself in moments of weakness but the odds are not in our favour.
Happy 2023 everyone! I am attempting to enter the new year with more clarity, to try and avoid unforced errors that I’m all too familiar with this time around. It seems like there’s no greater unforced error than the impostor syndrome - self-inflicted (or perhaps not?) anxieties and inadequacies that are intrinsic to many high-achieving individuals. This issue was raised at a conference panel I spoke at last year, and without fail every speaker and attendee confessed to be at its mercy. The Higher Education sector is plagued by the Impostor Syndrome (and poor mental health overall) and not enough is being done to address it in a systematic way.
I tried to find out more about the Impostor Syndrome the only way I know how - through the academic literature. Admittedly this is outside of my field, but the most systematic review I could find was from 2019, which covered 62 peer-reviewed studies of over 14,000 people. As of 2023, the impostor syndrome or phenomenon is not classified as an official psychiatric disorder by the American Psychological Association. Because of this there is no standardised way of diagnosing it, and this is further complicated by its strong overlap with co-morbidities such as anxiety and depression.
Because of all of these variables, on the surface at least, there does not appear to be strong consensus around the best evidence-based way of “treating” the impostor syndrome. What we can and should do though is talk about it - to raise awareness for it by talking about our own experiences, and in turn elevate the sense of empathy and collective identity in all of our workplaces.
Today I will throw my hat in the ring and talk about my own experiences - although it is very “meta” to feel like an impostor while talking about the impostor syndrome (after all I’m a microbiologist, not a cognitive psychologist).
As a teacher, I always like to start from the student perspective. When you are a student, your problems are your own to deal with. If you do well, you are the one rewarded, if you struggle, you suffer the the most negative consequences out of anyone. That dynamic shifts when you join a new team, business, or company, because your failures affect those around you - your peers, your manager, your company’s bottom line, so the pressure mounts very quickly. Everyone else seems like they know so much more than you, but it’s only because they have had time to figure things out.
Hopefully there’s a grace period - you’re the newbie, so someone will be there to make sure you know how to set things up first time around, if you’re lucky. But what happens when this grace period runs out? For me this was the first year of my PhD - people were around to make sure I knew how to update the right spreadsheets, be part of cleanup rosters, not drink any dangerous chemicals or break expensive machinery, but after that I need to figure the rest out by myself.
To reinvent yourself at this stage - from brand new rookie to valued member of the team, you can approach it casually, and hope that on-the-job training over time will compound to your benefit and take effect. As a scientist though I like standard operating protocols and systems, so here’s my 3-stage uncertainty framework for dealing with the impostor syndrome:
Stage 1: The Google-ables
The Google-ables is self explanatory, it’s things you can find out by yourself in your own time.
Not just on Wikipedia but in reddit, discussion forums, YouTube videos, news articles, academic literature…
The longer you spend on this stage, the easier the next two stages will be. Most of the people who hit the ground running in their first job have already done a lot of background research by themselves. This is easier said than done though, because how do you know the right questions to ask, or the right search terms? This won’t be an “one and done” situation, you will need to revisit this stage over and over again as you are given new duties and responsibilities to manage over time.
Stage 2: The Mentionables
Questions that you can’t find the answers to independently, but feel comfortable enough mentioning casually over a coffee to your fellow team members.
“Why are we working with this client - they seem very demanding?”
Oh it’s because they bring in so much money for the firm, got it.
“Why is it so hard to book this piece of equipment?”
Oh it’s several hundred thousand dollars, and we have to share this with 5 other groups, so make sure it’s always clean and working properly once you’ve finished, ok got it.
“What’s a good time to go on leave that doesn’t make everyone else’s job twice as hard?”
This is also how you build a professional network slowly but surely, and the quicker you understand the social norms and the unwritten rules of etiquette in your workplace, the quicker you will shed your impostor status.
Stage 3: The Untouchables.
Questions that only the head honcho, your manager, or your boss’s boss can answer.
“What’s the direction of this company?”
“How does the work we’re doing today affect your vision for the next 5, 10, 20 years?”
“How’s the work we are doing different than our competitors?”
“How do you see my role changing over time?”
Now these are called the untouchables for a reason, no one really expects the rookie to be asking the manager these hard hitting questions, but these are things you should have in the back of your mind. If you’re ever in a situation where you’ve done an incredible job, landed a big client, or finished a big project, you might want to cash in a little bit of your career capital to ask one of these questions. Because it’s the answers to these questions that will propel you into the next phase of your career.
Have a great week ahead and talk soon.
Jack.
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If you’re interested in this topic I dive deeper into the weeds in this week’s video. Let’s keep this conversation going about impostors over the coming weeks.
